“She Taught Me How To Love” – “Fifty Shades Darker” Movie Review

Happy Valentines Day from the DG Movie Department. Consider this terrible movie review a present from yours truly. 

Ah yes, Fifty Shades. The franchise that started in 2015 is back on the big screen, here to take your hard-earned dollars and get things steamy for you and your sweetheart during Valentines Day. And if you remember from last time, Anastasia and Christian’s relationship didn’t exactly leave me wanting more. But somehow it made buckets of cash – leaving millions of horny housewives gleaming with joy. And as a result, Fifty Shades Darker (the sequel) got green-lit. Can it capture the same magic and spark that so many people felt the first time? While you ponder that, I’m going to grab a box in which to store my sanity.

Dalin’s Best and Worst Films of 2015

Here it is folks, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! The creme de la creme of all movie lists–the yearly best and worst. From weirdo fan fictions brought to life, to reboots of franchises, sequels, original indies, and even a few adventures into your own mind–2015 was a year of all kind of adventures, good and bad, light and dark, Jedi and Sith. But which of these movies made the top 10 of each respective list? Well grab your yearly bucket of popcorn, and let’s get this show on the road!

“I Put A Spell On You”: “Fifty Shades of Grey” – A Rage Quit Review

I consider myself to be a fan of romance. I read fairy tales, I like listening to Peter Gabriel, and I eat way too much chocolate on a daily basis. And the best thing about romance is that everyone can have their ideal fantasies of how it’s supposed to be. For me, big poofy dresses, strolls through Central Park, and an 80’s soundtrack are usually involved. But to each their own, as they say, which definitely applies to the population that finds a certain book, which is now a movie, the height of their romantic fantasies. And in case you haven’t realized which movie I am speaking of, just know that it uses a lot of grey. Tons, and tons of it. Fifty shades, you might even say.SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD

“Fifty Shades of Grey” Trailer Debuts….. and It’s Exactly What You Expect

The day many a cinephile has been dreading has arrived to the internet, as the trailer for the highly anticipated (mostly by housewives) film adaptation of best seller Fifty Shades of Grey debuts. Does it look artistically interesting? Nope. Will it be an incredible cinematic drama? Not even close.  But will people go see it anyway? Magic 8 ball says most likely.

As for this movie goer, by god does this look lackluster and cheap as all possible. From the boring cast, to the forced tie-in Beyonce cover of her early 2000’s hit, “Crazy in Love”, it all just seems like Universal is desperate for cash.

One positive though is the lovely cinematography by Seamus McGarvey, who seems to capture the monotone color palette, that was key in the advertisements of the book series, very well. Everything else though seems like a high quality Lifetime movie at best. 

What are your thoughts on the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer? Think it’ll live up to the success of the book, or be forgotten as fast many other recent novel adaptations? Comment below!