Okay, tell me if you’ve heard this one before: Two royal sisters are torn apart by a tragic misunderstanding. One has the power of snow and ice, and runs away to a remote location. There’s hearts broken, sisterhood, a guy who chops things, and trolls. Of course, I’m talking about Disney’s box office hit Fro…… sorry, I mean Universal’s 2016 release, The Huntsman: Winter’s War starring Charlize Theron, Emily Blunt, Chris Hemsworth and Jessica Chastain. And if you were one of the very few who was curious to know what happened before AND after 2012’s Snow White and the Huntsman, well we finally got our first look at this new addition to the franchise. Because that’s exciting…. right?
In case you’re curious as to what the exact plot ( which doesn’t at all feature Snow White/Kristen Stewart in it), let me enchant you with the description left on the Wikipedia page for the film:
“Long before the evil Queen Ravenna was thought vanquished by Snow White’s blade, she watched silently as her sister, Freya, suffered a heartbreaking betrayal and fled their kingdom. With Freya’s ability to freeze any enemy, the young ice queen has spent decades in a remote wintry palace raising a legion of deadly huntsmen – including Eric and warrior Sara – only to find that her prized two defied her one demand: Forever harden your hearts to love.
When Freya learns of her sister’s demise, she summons her remaining soldiers to bring the Magic Mirror home to the only sorceress left who can harness its power. But once she discovers Ravenna can be resurrected from its golden depths, the wicked sisters threaten this enchanted land with twice the darkest force it’s ever seen. Now, their amassing army shall prove undefeatable…unless the banished huntsmen who broke their queen’s cardinal rule can fight their way back to one another.”
Summarization: Holy last minute plot, Batgirl! Could you smell the desperation for box office cash from this description? Because I can, and it has similar notes to those cheap drugstore imitation perfumes – bland, over the top, and probably really bad for you.
Now, onto the trailer!
The trailer begins with a familiar phrase, but with a slightly more interesting twist. Instead of asking the mirror about “who is the fairest”, Emily Blunt’s Freya asks, “who is the most powerful?” And for this female empowerment magical girl over here, that line is music to my ears. In fact, a lot of this trailer has much to offer when it comes to kick-butt female leads taking charge, from what would usually be a male-dominated genre movie.
But that doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to this movie. If anything, this film looks like it is going to be a glorified camp fest, filled to the brim with delicious one liners, and drinking game qualities that will make future bachelorette slumber parties laugh in delight. And though that could (and probably will be) entertaining, that certainly doesn’t mean it is “good” either.
With visuals that look like they were rendered in Adobe After Effects circa 1999, a plethora of gif worthy screaming shots from our villainous leading ladies, and one of the most confusing plots to ever be conceived for a new film in a franchise, the awfully titled The Huntsman: Winter’s War leaves much to be desired. Unless you are only here for pretty costumes and Charlize fangirling, then you’re good.
So what do you think of this new addition to that Huntsman franchise? Excited, curious, bored out of your mind? Tell us exactly what you think of this new dark fantasy flick, and if it has a chance against other Spring 2016 releases. Leave us your feelings in the comment section below, along with your ridiculous shot you want a gif of. Trust me, you know you want one.
The Huntsman: Winter’s War flies into theaters April 22nd, 2016