Still getting over Valentine’s Day blues? 50 Shades not your style? Looking for a good read as well as a sexy novel? Sophie Graubard, an avid reader, is here to help! Below are 3 of Sophie’s favorite romance novels. So snuggle up in bed, and be ready to wish you were a character in one of these!
WARNING: Strong language
Who among us isn’t a sucker for a Cinderella story? The Bookseller’s Daughter is a romantic (and very sexy) retelling, set in pre-revolution France. This book manages to flit between poetic justice, class wars, murder, sex, and (what else?) true love. Our heroine is Marie-Laure, a (you guessed it) bookseller, working as a scullery maid for the simple-minded Duc Hubert, and a scheming Duchesse Amelie. To get through the grueling workday, Marie-Laure often reminisces about the exciting smuggler who once visited her father’s bookstore, bringing in their order of outlawed books. Tall, dark, and dangerous? Sign me up!
But, who do we have here? Enter the Viscomte Joseph, the handsome younger brother of the odious Hubert. Back from a long disappearance, he and Marie-Laure recognize each other.
Cue the sexy rumpus time.
Amazingly enough, the author manages to write love-making rather well, as opposed to fuck-me-up-against-a-wall sex (don’t be sad, there’s some of that, too). The Bookseller’s Daughter may not get you all Hot ‘n’ Bothered, but it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, like you swallowed a puppy.
This is actually the second book in a (seemingly never-ending) series of romance novels. The River Devil focuses on runaway railroad heiress Rosalind Schuyler, in the 1880’s. Her vile, self-proclaimed fiancé is after her, but only for her fortune. She’s on the run, disguised as a man, and playing a ridiculous amount of poker. The Mississippi and Missouri rivers set the scene, and the riverboats are the main stage. Rosalind catches the eye of Hal Lindsey, a decorated ex-Navy officer with Daddy Issues. Magically, he seems to be the only person in the universe to recognize her as a woman, but whatever.
Look, I’m going to be honest here; the plot to this one doesn’t matter. Blah blah murder blah blah making amends blah blah childhood trauma blah blah blah. I don’t know how she does it, but Diane Whiteside writes some of the steamiest sex-scenes I’ve ever read. But, what’s more, she writes them consistently. Every naughty bit in this book is unfailing in its ability to get your heart rate up to calorie-burning levels.
Forget cardio, pick up some cramp-inducing erotica!
Whatever your type of guy, Ms. Foster writes him well. The Buckhorn books are actually several shorter stories, about the same central family. You have to pick a favorite, of course, but there’s plenty to choose from. You have Sawyer, the oldest brother and town doctor. He is strong, collected, and responsible, and, naturally, damn sexy. Then you have Morgan, the muscle-bound sheriff. He’s bossy, he’s controlling, he’s not for the faint of heart! Jordan is after him, more intense and calm than the others. He is described as having a sinfully sexy voice, and restrained demeanor. As the veterinarian for the county, he is often holding a kitten in these books. Last, there’s Gabe; handyman extraordinaire, easygoing, and something of a reformed Lothario. All have their attractive qualities, but really, they’re female fantasies personified.
I never take romance novels too seriously, and I encourage everyone who reads these to be fully aware that they are playing upon the “ideals” that many of us have in our minds. A significant other that is kind, attractive, strong, protective, funny, caring, passionate, and a million more things on a checklist that neither ends nor can truly exist. These books are fluff, cotton candy for your mind. Sweet, fun, and exciting, but they lack the substance of reality, the glare of true life. The more you consume in hopes of a meal, the worse off you are. Please take my reviews, and the books themselves with a grain of salt, and don’t expect a Romance-Ready partner to leap off the page and into your life.
Sophie is a 22 year-old connoisseur of smut in all its forms. Her hobbies include Resting Bitch Face, knitting, and breakfast foods. Someday, she hopes to become Ron Swanson.
Do you have a favorite romance novel? Post them wish a brief description down in the comments!